BURN OUT!!!

BURRNNNNNNN!!!!

*this post is specially for this only lol...*

why am i not a blogger?

wahaahhahhaha why am i not a blogger why? why? why?

first of all.....i think its very obvious that i didnt blog for like ages d...since the last blog till now...hmmmmm....lets consider almost a year d? issit? help me see can? my maths nt so so only lol.....

then le....i suka suka like in hokkien said "bo su chuo" (means when there's nothing to do") baru i go blog something lo lol....wahahhahhaha

or......when i wanna go express my emotion here....(usually gila sot sot one...)

or......i only blog when i express my opinion la.....over sth la.....for example, if i say le life is meant to be determine by urself not because it happens it happens...no almost everything can be control by u? enough said...not enough...nvm just wait for my next blog lo lol...

or when i got something cool to blog bout.....but this lately hmmm....nth much lo

soo......sorry blogger(the website) that i am not a blogger (saying me self) wahhahaha....unless ah....kena deposit around few $$ k to me baru u can see me blog like i never blog before lo lol.....

life is fair, its all up to your own effort...

before i continue...i am practicing democratic freedom of speech...only a fool will not recognise it...

well first of all...this came to my mind when a lecturer (note tat: i do not hate him at all ..FULLSTOP its only for the sake of mutual benefits....) kept mentioning "life is not fair" all n over n over n over....n not only him said tat...Bill Gates said it too....

but....as we all know everyone is unique...n great minds comes from great diversities...

so...i do not agree with this statement that life is not fair...

ya...i knw it seems like karma never work....or why issit u're not a prince of a royal family ah...why are u not rich....why i x have the chance to further study overseas ah...why i x have a hot n pretty girlfriend ah..or hot boiling boyfriend...and etc.....

hence.....complain n complain n complain.....whining n on and on n on....thats all?

where's the effort? you just gonna be like...leave it unfortunate as it is? thats all?

allow me to provoke u!................why are u a L.O.S.E.R?

and why did i said that?

like the example i mentioned in facebook status...

ever consider US how they gain independence from British at tat time? what they are just a peasant? its not fair...to compare with their opponent a fully well trained soldier...yet highly equipped....n how did they defeat such a powerful country at that time? until they were corner n need to raise white flag near the shore? how could they possible defeat them? not to mention decades later...successfully defended their land when british came n attack again?

ok...then x mention bout US make it more regional....how bout u consider indonesia...how they gain their independence? from Holland? lay back n wait for them to give it in? no they all stand up n fight!

revolution 1911 in china

qing conquest over ming dynasty?

mahatma ghandi ways of gaining independence....

the way how albert einstein become the genius human kind we ever know although his education background is not fair at all!!

or perhaps stephen hawking...he is attack by a disease leaves him paralyze and for typical ppl like most us...we will felt hopeless and useless...but he still able to crack the secret of blackhole theory?

and many more events....that shows unfortunates become the great success!!

then what are the similarities? u notice from all d events i mentioned?

they all responsible!!!

for the US case...the peasant responsible to fight for their independence right...

for the indonesia...they too same as the US....take up the weapons and fight!

china...believe in democracy....so stand and support for their believe....

the Qing well....they are not as good as the luxurious Ming dynasty? how they win le? determination and efforts!!

same goes to him, mahatma ghandi

and then albert einstein and stephen hawking....if say life is not fair...and they take up this idea as well...that life is not fair...do you all physicist will be able to continue or expand the studies from these two great minds?

not only historical events....religious...

buddhism...if life is not fair...then why issit the concept of karma is there?

christian? david and the goliath? Jesus himself? the slaves of the egyptians freed by Moses?

Muslim...Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. when he was under hot pursuit by the pagans? for his teaching? several attempts of not making him as a leader until life is at stake? yet he became the Khalifah? and protect the holy city agaisnt the pagan?

does this ring a bell to u?

that life is fair only if u show an effort and responsibility to yourself?

don't u think ur own religion teaching oledi mentioned the responsibility in your own life?

oh i knw some females may say...so unfair male cant get pregnant...we need to endure this pain and all...but once the baby is born...who is the baby more attach to?

u think God would like this world to be not fair? if u speak of religion?

so what if u r poor...u think its god-will? if it is..x u think its a test that actually gives u motivation to achieve better than this?

my personal case...i wasn't that fucking rich when i was so young....as compare to those rich fellas....they have everything they got...they have internet...guiness book of world record...that and this book of facts...and all....yet at that time...my mind is far richer than theirs....why? and how? i watch discoverys and nat geo only tat time...i went to library every two days....i borrow my rich fren's guiness book...i x have text book at that time...yet i am the top of the class and the school....i x go tuition they all go....yet...my rich frens teach me...with what they learned....and now thanks to all my frens help and my own effort.....i am what i am now...

u see?

or shall i say its unfair....parents is not always around wit me when i was 14years old onwards...i live alone with my brother...and somehow we have trouble with ourselves...food mostly...and house chores.....but i x see this as a negative one...u knw why?

u see here....i am in UTAR...i am able to survive alone....i could only spend RM50 per week.......i know how to spend wise...i knw how to take care myself when i was injured n sick....i can manage my own lifestyle to proper ways.....

all in all thanks to my parents for giving us early training of living alone...so that i wont be crying because of homesick....

do u call this unfair?

no not at all.....it is unfair if u remains it without any turning points from u....

all u need is RESPONSIBILITY that's all....

so ya...i x believe that life is not fair...why not?

history, religion, philosopher, famous ppl, and me myself...oledi shows life is fair only if u determine to make it fair....n just....

so life is not fair when there is lack of responsibility....enough said!

till then!

remember...this is my own opinion in my effort to practice the freedom of speech thank you....if u get angry with this...i may suggest u to google for the term freedom of speech....

y2s2 sem break...

ok what did i do le? all this while?

as usual la...pictures says it all....with a little caption from me hahahhaa

u knw me la...i lazy to type in words....

so...i shall begin with food...lol..

in brunei one...wat i ate le...

this is a duck meat dish...er...i dunno wat it call la...but its my mom's dish..one of my favourite!!! hahahh mayb because she like duck meat too hahaha...something genetic alike me n my mom lol...

yes...for those who eat wit me before...i never like tau qe...hahha but exempted for my mom's one...she gt her way on how to add certain taste to it...n make it lik woah!!! so nice...hahhahah

apa ni? why this is another mom's dish...ingredients....secret...no la...its just tat i dunno what she put...make it taste sweet n got one kind of tempting aroma from it...n once u bite it...u jus x stop finishin it lol....it taste like...wow! hahahha to be honest,....this is the best chicken i ever taste!!! woah!!!

ini dia...one of brunei famous nasi lemak...every morning u go there eat sure...banyak orang...nasi..got an aroma like so gao gao...then d beef...woah!!!! hahha n it cost B$1.00

sometimes u can also eat along wit this chicken wings...cara ia goreng...i dunno la..but it can make until so thin n crispy...yum yum le...cheap also lo lol...but not to convert to RM la...soli....

this is thien thien steamed chicken rice...i like this so much...we came here eat lik occasionally...yet so long like decades...it still taste nice...smooth n woah!!!

this one is escapade sushi...hhaha i love their sushi...its very fresh...n not so "kiam sat" as in stingy bagi salmon tat is not enough for the sake of taste lol....

this one le...is my little bro, Deren intro me to eat...n this is very nice yet...d price is reasonable lo...n yet...d taste of d fish is like super fresh...although its raw...i tell u lol...(because their fish mostly is local straight from the sea...i assume...) ya...i had sushi for my lunch lol....yum yum...

ok other than eat eat eat....buying foods also quite interesting in brunei...especially in supasave...got a lot of varities...n below d pict is one of them,.,..

this le...is all kind of seasoning of different meat lol...

this is the wide varieties n fresh herbs...n d price...is not so expensive lo actually....

salmon hams.....hams...fish hams...cod hams....any kind of hams lo....there hahha except for pork one la...only available at certain corner...for toleration reasons....respect ppl pls....hahhaha but le...this is all very very nice one...hahhah especially smoked salmon hams...yumm....imagine it melts wit d cheese on ur sandwich lol....

this bull head looking vege...hahhaha consider a vege ka? lol...but le...its edible hahhaha dunno d local call it wat liaw lol....

then FERRARI lol...i knw its random but i found this in my hp lol...i was trying to take the interior one...cos too curious on how its interior look like lol...got a lot of ferrari in brunei but outside always i saw....interior seldom lol....so fail......hahhahaha (x worry he didnt notice also...)

fyi...the lady in green attire is my mom lol...

ok...have a break n look at the fish pond.....nice...n calming...

then continue.....

now moving on to miri...lol...

but start wit food first hahahhaa....

this in foochow "teng meng ngu" hahhaa i dunno wat it means...but its my mom's favourite lol..she always order this one...it taste er...very er...i dunno how to describe cos i seldom eat tat lol...but it taste nice la lol...

this one le..i always order lol....its foochow's zhao chai mee hun lol....err..dunno how to translate...it taste very sour...n i like it sourish hahha woah...!!!

then hang out wit frens wit all sorts of activities hahahhaha lol..

but this is unforgettable lo...

at daphne's house nittendo wii's band sth sth i forgot d....guitar..i fail......drum i faill.......i dunno why...n lastly...the easiest of all.....singing...i also faill.........

if u notice it...in d tv screen u can see my guitar is failing lol....hahhahha

oh no...i join choir le...church choir le....n all.....but yet...i fail in singing? oh no!!! hahahhahhahah need a lot of training n come back we play again!!!! must ah!!! lol...

my goodness i fail singing lol......

the miri house hahaha lol....ya kinda messy a bit...cos its usually left unattended (only my mom la but she is busy lo) since i came to UTAR lol...n d floor ya tats after i washed the car lol...this house although it doesnt seems much...but it got all d comfort it can give...hahhahha n lagi syok le...is wat?

its this...lol...

got BIRD NEST in my house le...lol...feel so natural le my house until a bird built d nest there lol....make d house lagi warm lol...woah!!!!!

other organism built their nest i will remove like cockroach ah n rats or cats as their breeding place i sure kick them out n clean it...

but not for this...its like miracle le....hhahaha a nest inside my house!!! hahaha i love it le lol....

i think tats all i can talk bout it lo...hahha not all pict i can upload here hahhahahha

but before i end this....

the pity-shark-at-the-gadong-wet-market wanna say "hello!!!" hahhaha owh...it looks so sad hahhahah

and i realize i mentioned and upload a lot of food wor.....aiyoyoyo...potential fatso here le lol...

ok la till then....

"other may say...this and that place is a paradise...but like i once said...my hometown is my very own paradise"

swimming in the ocean

specially thanks to Counselling Practicum cos it actually gave me the idea for a metaphor to describe my uni life...

yes...everyone has their own metaphor to describe their uni life..some may mention bout coffee or perhaps like riding a car?

but mine is.....

"swimming in the ocean"

swimming is the ocean may sounds crazy n weird...

yes, uni life is one heck of crazy journey for us...u may see it thru someday....

so as we swim across the ocean...the wide journey seems never ending journey

we may be given up on certain thing or mayb some may give up either before attempt to swim or some may even gave up half way thru the journey...

this journey is not an easy one tats why...

and even if u r ironman athlete, there's few things tat may be getting in ur way...

in the sea...

there are predators...

they will wait for u silently n cunningly to strike u...although the journey may seems promising to u...face the fact! some of the ppl around u may purposely backstab u for the benefit of self... or some may ditch u...or some may even wanna try to defeat u until u left nothing but bones...its true cos when there's human there will be such things ..not to mention there's some situation when u try to achieve it but u r crippled or become lame because of some weakness u have or because of ur background tat u can't avoid maybe?....so face the fact...but x see it as negative, why? without them..chasing after u..will u keep on running? no right?

then...away u r from the predators...

but u r human...u need to come out to surface to inhale sufficient oxygen into ur lungs to continue ur journey...but u knw..in uni life...nt everything will goes as ur plan...sometimes unfortunate things may occur to u..n u never knw when it happen just like lightning strikes u without any advance warning or any clue to u...this is life my fren...cos we are human n we are not the almighty god..so we can't see our future accurately as He is...tats why..

some may fall after this unfortunate strike...( i knw cos i almost got myself there) but i believe tat miracle will happen n it did...so i resume my journey although it is nonsense that once u strike by lightning n yet u still can be alive...should have drown urself deep deep into the sea....

miracle...my fren....miracle anything impossible happen when there's miracle....tats why...

however...some i knw do not knw how to swim at all...n fear of drowning themselves into the ocean...so may not even dare to try...no it doesn't matter...if u knw or not...to swim...u can also find a smarter alternative way perhaps to cross the ocean...n tat is by building a boat

as simple ur boat is ...it doesn't matter..as long u can make it float...built it with ur own will n wit ur own talent n honesty...it doesn't matter right? although seas may be rough or dangerous for such a simple boat to get across...but with the faith n heart...perhaps those who swimming along side u will help u to support it eventually

supporting u till u reach the shore...which we all ended together there...

and this shore is not a normal one as we all knw as we all sees it...daily

its something tht everyone dying to achieve it...risk themselve to be there...

what for?

because of the beauty n frens u struggle together will be there...or perhaps the place tht once describe by ur parents or someone u respect?

yes this is how i sees my uni life....

yet i do realize that u r swimming further n further away from ur own homeland to reach the paradise island...why u wanna do tat...? why do u wanna abandon ur family? ur dad, ur mom? ur sis n ur frens?

well i x position to explain to u why but wat i knw is to achieve such a goal..u need to drop some of ur past u feel safety

u x be the same as u will end up lik stagnant water...

u need to experience the changes of ur life...for the benefit of ur family n urself...this is important...if u wish to achieve ur own success

so my frens out there.... watever stress or some hopeless goal u face...

jus dun give up halfway...either u x step into the water or u find an alternative way to reach the shore of the paradise island...

because if u do so...no one is there to save u...speaking of ocean as the wide n vast places its hard to find u...its like a bean in the rices...

jus dun give up..braise urself...frens are there to help u also...like the boat...even if u r genius, can do well in academic but socially support is needed too...

family not to mention bout them...who concern u from behind...giving u hope n guidance n care u like as if u r still their forever baby to them...

just don't give up if u r halfway there...breath in the air awhile n continue swimming...

but not too long la breathing the air or else the predator will come after u....

so my frens...all the best n braise urself if u encounted it...

lik my motto i always had...."indulge and endure, what may come"

till then my frens...

fyi: i got this metaphor inspired by robinson crusoe stories n the castaway by tomhanks...

Ignorance is Strength

must be wondering why sometimes i tend to ignore frens with their problem?

its not tht i am very cruel, no empathy, dun understand ppl...n it goes on n on....

why i ignore it because i have my own reasons...

not because i dunwan to help anyone already nor i want to run away from taking responsibilities...

but because i found its the best way for them to solve their own problem...

certain people (i will not mention who...for P&C reasons) will only making their problems worse..once they have somebody to talk to...

or perhaps not getting worse, some cases they would actually create a new problem..(so creative wor?) lol...

n why do we need to continue "feeding" of those who only making their prob worse because u console them...

no...its not because i am bad in it...hello...i have years of experiences in this situations...

only after i have study n understand it...yes

it is best to ignore them with their problem...for their own benefit...

n guess what it really works...

it is like their behavior is not positively reinforce...they tend to "sien" with it n change for better....

i knw giving up on certain frens wit prob is not something acceptable especially for those in counseling field...cos it is not right to abandon ur client...

but wat if u can solve it in within weeks rather than months or years? better right? n since i am not earning my income from there also...or gain any benefit...

so wat they will hate me for this or felt disappointed but ask urself...don't u think u had improve a lot from this ignorance?

so sometimes it is best to ignore certain cases tht only becoming worse when u console them...

not to mention...for my own personal opinion....(not support by anything ah)

tht when one person is ignore with their problem...

he or she will indirectly applying Kubler Ross model to themselves...n yes it will be something they are unaware of...(even myself i agree with it)

ya it may seems like it only applies for something relevant to death...

no, trust me...in my personal experiences it actually applies on certain crisis n dilemmas...

how it applied?

ok we knw tat kubler ross model has this five stages

Denial--->Anger--->Bargaining--->Depress--->Acceptance

n wat if u apply to a crisis say...(touchwood ah) ur gf or bf dump u...for another person...

Denial. for those in long term relationship, of course u will not believe this thing will happen n u x accept it at all...so the person will tend on repetitive denying it, n thinks it can't be happening its not real its not true...this thing happen to tat person...n even he ever thought of getting married with him or her at the end....

Anger. of course when u found out wat are the causes, n reasons for this break up...u will get angry x control urself...felt like u wanna have revenge n all this la...some cases will go berserk or amok because of it....if not properly monitor, it will also end up murdering...so monitoring the person at this stage is very very important....(caution some may still stay at this stage for a long time, n a cue to move out from there is needed for him..)

Bargaining . Yes...after the anger and all this....the person will say "if only i could be better for her or him" or the person will go to the love one n begging for her or him to come back again... beg n beg like its never ending one...

Depress. n wat happen when the bargaining fails? depress mode is on!...depress the person it is...feeling helpless giving up n regret even more..for wt happened n sad sad....so at this stage...in order to move on....this is the point u step in briefly to comfort...i say comfort jus comfort...not console...because i assure u...the person in this situation with a little bit of support n comfort...he or she will move on to.....

Acceptance. after all this sad emotional rush on his or hers feelings...finally after he had enough of the depression...the person will end up accepting it as a fact...n giving up to go n fight back their love one again...some may forget the person forever..but le...some may even come back n talk like normal again....like it never happened before....

this my fren is the reason why i choose to ignore some of my frens with problem...n although it will talk longer than it sounds...but the thing is, it wil guarantee success...if careful monitor is involve...la....

so don't need to ask why...once more why i choose to ignore some of my frens problem...or not involving in it anymore...

till then frens....

caution: this is mostly for the means of sharing my opinion n practicing my FREEDOM OF SPEECH..not meant to SHOOT on anyone i knw....so pls remain silent! if u happen to disagree with me..cos it is my RIGHT n when comes to HUMAN RIGHTS! it calls for MUTUAL RESPECT (do i need to define it?) thank you for your understanding...enjoy reading ya...

*seriously...i getting more n more tired of writting this everytime write my own thoughtful article...thanks to CERTAIN STARTER...owh human n their conformity =="....*

thats all...god bless u with ur exams n assignments...

My delayed Happy Malaysia Day!

the last night at around this time....

as i went out for dinner, i saw something very interesting tht sparks my idea to blog

n wat exactly is the incident? well...

i saw a chinese mother with her child playing candles with two indian children (which happen to be the chinese mother's neighbour) n they all get along very well...very fun instead, i can hear laughter i can hear them talking bout it each other, yet the language they used by the indians was english n yet the boy speaks chinese to them...

i was wondering how could they actually communicate each other ? i wonder they understand each other? well it seems like they do...cos they were smiling to each other...

how wonderful it is le?

not only tat, in unrelated event, when i came back home from yumcha, i saw the same chinese mother n the indian mother were talking to each other...n they were like talking as if they are very good frens (gossiping and all those things la lol..housewives talk lol..)

n ya wats so special about it?

yes there is.....they actually comm each other in CANTONESE..yup i am serious in it..cos i pull my ear very long to confirm this...imagine that an indian actually spoke cantonese (fluent one) to her...n seems like not threaten at all....

what say you?

5 years old children, can get along very well..not even fight or stereotype among each other...

if a child can instinctively not being racist among each other...why not us?

why should we need to be racist or stereotyped among each other?

why need to go against each other? worth meh?

of course not...

be tolerate to each other...so wat we have different culture n belief...

but there is one thing for sure that we are all the SAME!

n that is...

WE ARE MALAYSIANS!

n this is something we should be proud of to have such a multicultural nation like us...ask u...

cos u never gonna enjoy such varieties of food thnks to different races in malaysia....

we have more festivals thanks to different cultures in malaysia....

so MALAYSIANS...learn wat tht young children did...n x be ashame of it...cos its something pride for u to do it...

so this i wrote in conjunction of my delayed HAPPY MALAYSIA DAY!!